


The Broken Path

by Khelkhet



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-02 03:16:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4043782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khelkhet/pseuds/Khelkhet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The only person you are destined to be is the person you decide to be." (- Unknown)</p>
<p>Khel is a Sith; not a very good one. Her unhappiness with how her life was heading resulted in what was meant to be a casual trip to Nar Shaddaa, where her flawless plan to drink herself silly and find Jedi to blame for all her problems has gone horribly off track. </p>
<p>She's met men and women of all sorts, but a few of them are shaping her destiny and complicating her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Find the Holocron

**Author's Note:**

> After weeks of pleading for him to train her, the untrained Sith is tasked with locating a holocron the Jedi has left somewhere on Nar Shaddaa. 
> 
> "Reach out with the Force," he'd told her. If only she could focus enough to try. She can't manage -that- so long as her thoughts are constantly filled with fear and doubt.

                “I wouldn’t.”

                2V had been only a few paces from the entrance to Khel’s chamber, an octagon shaped room she’d laid claim to shortly after purchasing the apartment, when the armored man hired to maintain security had stopped the droid in his tracks. “Excuse me?” he questioned politely.

                Felix hadn’t been keen on working for a Sith. He didn’t trust force-users and had no intentions of starting anytime soon, but it was a job and a fairly well-paying one at that. He had his own quarters, and though he’d only been working a handful of days the job had been easy until the last few days. “She’s busy.” He replied, not needing to specify who ‘she’ was. “You don’t want to bother her.”

                “Unless the Master has company, I am confident she will wish to see these reports—“ the droid began, but Felix cut him off.

                “Remember the screaming from a few nights ago? Yeah,” The droid didn’t need eyebrows or a mouth for Felix to know that head-tilt was the droid equivalent of a frown and furrowed brows. “About ten minutes ago she started screaming up a storm and I’m pretty sure there’s shit flying around in there, so if I were you I’d give her some space.”

                2V looked from Felix to the closed door. “It is silent now,” he observed, and yet he made no effort to approach. “Is she injured again?” he wondered, suddenly a big indignant. “I haven’t been informed of any new injuries.”

                Felix stood from his seat and started back toward his quarters at the other end of the hall, “Worse,” he smirked, “She’s trying to relax.”

                2V chose not to disturb his Master.

***

                “’ _Use the Force,_ ’ he says. ‘ _Focus!’_ , he says.” Khel grumbled in her best and entirely inaccurate attempt to mimic the voice of Master Othone. She groaned and opened her eyes, failing once again to manage any degree of relaxation, let alone able to slip into a meditative state.

Her room hadn’t been completely trashed, but in a fit of rage at not being able to relax she’d thrown a couple chairs and kicked the water in her nice, “tranquil” fountain in what was (thankfully) an un-witnessed and somewhat childish fit. That was about all she could manage to do; she had very little furniture and very little of what she did have was movable.

It wasn’t healthy, talking to herself, but the last thing she wanted was company. The droid never shut up and Felix was boring. Well…Not _those_ two as company, anyway. Jace maybe. Where was Jace?

                It bothered her that she found herself concerned about his location. After the unfortunate incident that had involved him ultimately locking her in her room and guarding her door for the night she’d been certain he’d quietly ended their friendship. That was hazy, still; she had been as relieved as the Jedi had been when his friend had shown up alive. She was _fairly_ certain she would not hurt Jace intentionally. But then, she hadn’t been in her right mind, either.

                The night before last he’d sat with her through the excruciating pain that came with such grievous wounds as she’d suffered. He’d seen her as a screaming, sweating, biting-kicking-punching mess and then, when the pain had subsided he’d simply vanished. He’d seen her at her worst. Would he still come back?

                _Focus, Khel!_ She scowled at herself. She wasn’t new to meditating; it shouldn’t be this difficult! Unfortunately her inner voice was sounding suspiciously like the big, brown-skinned Jedi who’d gotten under her skin, and that annoyed her.

                “I can do this,” she told the fountain, which had recovered from its assault and was bubbling along peacefully.  She knew she could; when she couldn’t sleep, when the dreams became nightmares, she would often lose herself in meditation and let the Force sooth away the tiredness of her body and mind. Taking a breath she tried relaxing her entire body once again. She tried to clear her mind. It worked, for a short time. She tried to reach out.

                Reaching out with the Force in search of something specific wasn’t something she did often, and she knew that to be unusual. Sith meddled in the affairs of others as often as they could; Jedi, when they thought there was something they deserved to meddle in. Khel had often struggled with what was right here. On one hand, the Force was a tool to be used. On the other, using that power over the Force to pry seemed rather abusive.

                Her neck itched and ached. It persisted long enough that she opened her eyes again and rubbed the spot where she knew a large, purple-black bruise had formed under the skin. That bruise was the last thing she wanted to think about right now, because it led to places that were absolutely not relaxing.  Those thoughts made the muscles in her shoulder twitch a bit…They didn’t want to think of that bruise or its origin either.

                _Take your mind off him. Focus._  Othone’s voice encouraged her in her head. She made mental note to herself that she was becoming far too accustomed to his presence when she could so easily imagine what he’d say and in his voice, no less. She did, however, try. She had promised she would.

                Another breath.

Another attempt at letting the fountain sooth away her thoughts.

_Find the Holocron._

_I do believe it’s time for your first lesson. We cannot move on to the next until you do._

Khel watched that tranquility crawl away to be replaced by the familiar twin feelings of doubt and fear; two of her oldest friends. They tended to visit her a lot more often than Jace did, and he was her only _real_ friend so far, if they were in fact that. No man who didn’t care if you lived or died would sit through what he had. Doubt liked to knock her off her feet so Fear could kick her when she was down.

_You told **him** what you are afraid of,_ another voice spoke in her head. Not the Jedi this time. The other one. She hated the cruelty in the Sith’s voice, and he always seemed to be gloating. _He’ll use it against you. He’ll make you feel small and weak again when you can’t find what he’s sent you for, he’ll turn you away. He’ll send you **back**._

She hated that Sith. She’d punish him for getting into her head, too, though the thoughts were hers and not his doing; she’d allowed him to get to her just as much as the Jedi had gotten to her.

_Back_ was not where she wanted to be. Back to the boring sterile steel walls of a room on a starship, back to a solitary existence. Back where there was no Jace to support her through her pain; no Sith to torment and tempt her with promises of strength, no Jedi to remind her she should _know_ better and answering every question with another question. Not even a curiously and overly affectionate twi’lek to be jealous of every friend she has. Even the murder she’d committed in cold blood would mean nothing **_back there_**.

It seemed a simple enough solution; don’t go back. Stay. It should have been so incredibly easy a decision, but ‘stay’ was so uncertain, so unknown and so horrifying. ‘Stay’ sent a shudder down her back and she started to panic.

Khel realized in those thoughts of ‘Back’ and ‘stay’ that she was no longer just annoyed at not being able to relax; annoyance had turned to anxiety. She closed her eyes. She didn’t care to search for the holocron right now, and instead she focused her thoughts on the Jedi himself.  There were two words only, and both were dripping with fear and desperation.

_Help me._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kheli has obtained her holocron, and now considers what to do with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The actual scene of getting the holocron wasn't recorded, so I'll be eventually writing that as a flashback, I think.

               

 

“There. Perfect.” Khel nodded her approval, centering her newest accessory on the display pedestal. She tapped a code into the panel and the holocron began to hover. _Her_ holocron, at least unless the Jedi sought to reclaim it. Until then, it could enjoy a position of prestige in her chambers, where she could…Could what, exactly?

So far she’d mostly just gleefully shown it to her droid and made a point of bragging to Felix, even if the silly man just saw a ‘funny little blue cube’ instead of the wealth of potential inside the amazing piece of technology. Now it had a display. The sensible thing to do next would be to activate it; she _wanted_ to activate it, to spend hours raking her way through its ancient workings. The problem was that even though what she wanted was quite clear, she’d found herself reluctant to actually reach out and take it.

_“How do I use it?” she’d eagerly asked, after gaining a nod of approval from Master Othone for having found the little blue holocron at last._

_“Use the same focus you used to find it.” Othone had told her to focu, back when issuing the challenge the first time around, but she’d been unable; then he’d told her to relax, and when she couldn’t he’d promised her a trip to stargaze to help—that had been her choice, she’d professed to him her love of the stars visible in the stunning night sky. She’d been dubious, and yet upon returning from Tatooine there had been not one nightmare or disturbing dream to haunt her sleep. She felt relax for the first time in weeks, possibly months, and she’d never admit to years. She suspected the stars hadn’t been the only contributing factor. Sitting in the frigid desert with a Jedi and their common friend Fenrin had been just plain *fun*….Even compromised as she had been._

_Had Othone not specifically helped her with changing **how** she focused, though, she might still not have found the blue fountain of knowledge. _

_“The Sith seek to control the Force, to dominate it,” he reminded as they walked away from the thirty-meter statue of Kragga the Hutt, “You need to break that habit, and instead start letting the Force guide you on its own. You’ve done it once,” he glanced to her, “And it’s led you to the Holocron. Now you must let that connection activate it and receive what it has to offer.”_

Any self-respecting Sith would ignore that and simply command, demand, that it activate and divulge its secrets to her. The one artefact she had experience with—at least that hadn’t corrupted her temporarily to uncharacteristic behaviour, she had done just that; angry blasts of lightning had bypassed its locking system and allowed her to learn the history of her race, uncorrupted by outside rendition of history as told by the victors. That holocron had praised her willingness to take what she wanted. She doubted this one, a Jedi holocron, would view things the same way.

The holocron spun gently on its display, and in the dim lights of her Chambers she had to admit it was downright beautiful just as it was.

Who had it belonged to? She’d asked Master Othone, but he had simply said it was made before his time. Did he even know to whom it had been longed? Most likely; she’d confessed to him that she’d initially planned to simply hire smugglers and thieves to steal a couple holocrons from the Jedi; a large undertaking, yes, but then she had not done much in the way of ‘small’ when she had the option to choose otherwise. Perhaps he’d simply gone and borrowed one. She’d have to consider asking him later.

For now, she was content simply to stare at it.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two days after Tichorius nearly killed Othone and threw Khel's entire world out of whack, he showed up at the Cantina. Khel reacted poorly, and stormed out. That part was RP.
> 
> This fic pics up in the aftermath, when Master Othone takes his student for a walk to let her cool off and vent if she needs to.

“Why does he want to kill you so badly?” Khel had gone for a walk with the Jedi, still fuming, because he was right as usual; she needed to talk more than she needed to see the stars. Seeing Tichorius had upset her, and that bothered her more than anything. Minutes before she’d been talking to a woman about killing him and then only a moment after she left he was just suddenly…there. Even had he not spoken, had he not put his hand on the shoulder of his enemy and behaved as though they were old pals and he _hadn’t_ just tried to kill him two days ago, the man was simply _infuriating._

“I defeated him in the past,” Othone explained, “So it has become an obsession of his to prove himself superior.” He walked slowly, in no real hurry. They weren’t going anywhere, afterall, except away from the Cantina and the crowds there.

“Are you sure that’s a Sith thing, and not just a man thing?” With a smirk she cast her gaze to the Jedi.

“It’s a Dark Side thing,” Othone answered seriously, “And it’ll happen to you, too, if you let it. The reasons behind what you do matter.”

“That’s why you asked my reasons for wanting to kill him.”

“Yes.” He said simply, “And now I’ll leave you to think on that.”

He did that _thing_ he did, where one moment he was there, walking beside her and the next he was nowhere. No sound ever marked his disappearances, or his re-appearances for that matter. It no longer startled her, but Khel was envious of his ability to vanish like that.

Oh, wait, hadn’t he told her _envy_ was a dark thing too?

_“Well, Master Othone, I **am** an evil Sith,” she’d pointed out._

_“Stop calling yourself evil.”_

Khel had often wondered if she actually was evil at heart, and just thought herself good. Surely a great many over the course of history thought as much; she did know a few Sith who simply were determined that the price for order, freedom and peace was steep. Khel didn’t bear the horrible marks of Dark Side taint that would mar her flesh, but was it because it was absent altogether, or was it her healing talent keeping it at bay just as it kept her skin unmarked by physical scars and maintained her appearance?

Othone was gone. There were a few stragglers on the upper deck this time of day, but not many. From her vantage point Khel had a goof view of the Hutt’s statue and a fair view of the merchants and shoppers below. None of them seemed to be the least bit bothered by supernatural alignment, Jedi datacrons or wares between Sith and Jedi, Empire and Republic. Many simply needed their latest fix, or to sell enough product of one sort or another to pay off debts or ‘protection fees’.

Why, then, should Khel let conscience trouble her so much? She _had_ gotten angry, she certainly was envious, but she’d more or less lied about the need for revenge. An hour, maybe more, speaking of what amounted to who hated Tichorius more, and which had the right to take his life and why and when the man finally appears—literally, damn him, she would learn how he and Othone managed that someday-- she’d gone from pleasant conversational companion with an interesting if strange woman named Ahn’akiir to furious and fuming. Even her threats to him right then and there had been empty.

“So, Oh Wise Hutt,” Khel asked the statue, “Why do I want to kill him?”

 _You’re angry,_ taunted the statue.

“That’s a stupid reason.” She snorted.

It really was, no matter how she tried to look at it. Two days ago she’d been certain everything was coming to an end. With Othone dead, she had nothing. She’d taken leave of the Relentless, taking a huge leap of faith only to have everything cut short, and it was _his_ fault.

 _You knew,_ scolded the gold statue, _You knew when you were still with him that he was planning to kill Othone._

She had, of course, but that had been part of the game; to let him use her to get to Master Othone, while she learned from him and improved her combat skills, and in doing so she’d hopefully eventually gain some leverage of her own. Maybe even something Othone could exploit. She would get stronger and more skilled, learn about her potential. Meanwhile, Othone would teach her, and she had been absolutely certain, _determined_ the Jedi was using her against Tichorius just as the Sith was using her against him.

Everything fell apart when she’d actually started to like him a bit, and look forward to their visits. Even if not for the amazing sex, then for the conversation, debates—Khel sighed.  He’d hide his corruption when she came to visit. He’d made himself vulnerable to her, however briefly, and his eyes…

Khel was a sucker for eyes. She loved to see them, loved to look and see the deeper selves. Eyes didn’t lie. His were cold in color, but beyond she could see there was at least a man inside. He’d a wife, once, a woman he loved. They’d had a son. There had been a brief glimpse into a different time that she hadn’t the chance to explore before everything went to shit, and she regretted that.

“Shit.” She told the statue.

 _Ha ha!_ It laughed back. _You’d started to feel something for the Sith._

Khel scowled and turned away from the ledge, destined for the ramp that would lead her back to the taxi that in turn would lead her home.

 _It’s ironic,_ the voice in her head teased her, _Since the reason he cast you away is because he accuses you of having feelings for the Jedi, too._

Khel turned quickly to throw a flurry of lightning at the gold statue in retaliation, and then after a quick glance around to make sure no one had seen, she hurried off.


	4. Activating the Holocron...Finally.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Khel activates the small blue Holocron gifted to her for her studies by Master Othone.

Khel’s holocron was just as she’d left it; spinning gently on its anti-grav display pedestal in the middle of her chambers. She’d done her fair share of staring at it and admiring it, and she’d made sure Felix knew no one was to have access to it save her. He’d indulged her with promises of valiantly protecting her bedroom in her otherwise already very secure home from evil thieves who might seek to make off with her ‘Jedi cubey thing’.

The Sith had decided she rather liked the sarcastic bastard. 2V had chosen him from a few options based on his qualifications, but it had very much been his wit and sense of humor that had sold her on him. It paid off; he was fairly low-maintenance and he made her laugh. He did his job, and he didn’t treat her as a Sith generally expected.

“Jedi Cubey thing’s still safe,” He called to her with a grin, as she stood in the doorway looking at it. He’d taken up a position in the center of the Foyer where 2V had initially commissioned a desk, quickly turning it instead into a lounge where he and the Twi’lek hired to maintain equipment and droids could often be found playing card games when not working.

“You’re an ass,” Khel called back cheerfully, stepping into her room and letting the doors close behind her. “Lock.” She ordered them, and they did.

She approached it thoughtfully. Othone had seemed quite surprised to hear she hadn’t even activated the holocron, and Jace had barely seemed to notice it. Mind you he had been quite intoxicated during his last visit and had other things on his mind than Jedi artifacts, and she wasn’t altogether sure he’d noticed where he was.

The truth of the matter was Khel had doubts; did she even deserve to have this? Sith holocrons were easy and predictable in that they generally demanded a show of force, of strength either metaphorical or otherwise, and when successful the gatekeeperwould generally happily impart their knowledge onto the holder.

Jedi, in Khel’s experience, seemed to be far less simple and certainly less easy to comprehend. Brutality would not activate this holocron, but she was confident she knew what would.

When trying to find it at all she’d listened to the Jedi; let the Force flow through you and guide you where it wants to take you. Don’t force it. Those had been the basic instructions he’d given and then he’d given her time to do just that.

Her reward spun on its axis, waiting.

She’d kept it waiting too long. Without giving herself any more time to doubt, Khel extended a hand as if to take the holocron, but no fingers closed around it. Her eyes closed, she focused and let the Force flow of its own accord. She barely contained a giggle of satisfaction when she felt, rather than saw, the intricate details on the exterior of the cube flare to life.

Khel opened her eyes.

Projecting from the holocron was the image of a male Nautolan in simple brown Jedi robes, his hands clasped and his head bowed in salutation. Often the Gatekeeper of a holocron was simply a generic AI, programmed to play a part, but sometimes, as with many Sith holocrons, the Sith’s consciousness was the gatekeeper. This one seemed to be peering oddly at her now, which implied to her perhaps she’d lucked into the latter. “Greetings, Jedi.” said the projection.

The Pureblood scratched a spot on her chin, “Yeah, about that…”

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd, ungrammar and spellchecked, uneverythinged, and written because I want to get into the habit of writing again. It's bad. It may well be taken down and re-written. I may well edit it to include names, but since it's spurred from a RP on Star Wars: The Old Republic MMO, I want to make sure I have the permission of the other characters involved before I do that. (I tentatively do, but I want to confirm it.)
> 
> That said, if my fellow RPers involved wish to help me write, or help me by writing chapters from their chars' points of view, I'd be happy to post em here, with proper credit to their authors... ;)  
> I'd appreciate if any reviews or feedback were gentle. I haven't posted any of my writing on a public forum in a lot of years. I haven't written non-smut in a lot MORE years. Erotica is easy. Story is hard. (Ha ha. See what I did there?))


End file.
